Demons From The Depths

In Los Angeles, the City of Angels lurks a darkness.

A vacancy within the depths of hell.

My heart was racing as I peered around the corner to find a hideous monster of great distortion.

Only after a moment of keeping my eyes wide open, did I realize it was a reflection of myself.

I look that disgusting?!

I was simultaneously bewildered and appalled by the instantaneous transformation of that seemed to happen right before my eyes.

How could I have let this happen to me?

I have been doing all the steps.

Practicing everyday!

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

My heart pounded as the fear inside of me boiled my blood that crawled to the surface of my skin. 

I’m not sure if it’s my reflection.

Is it? Can it be?

I can’t deny it anymore. 

As the creature’s rage built in front of me, I fumbled around in my mind to remember what my masters have taught me.

Normal conversation and words did not appease the monster, they only seemed to make it larger than life.

I turned around to gather my thoughts.

My empathy rose as I followed my heart back to love in this place of such despair.

I allowed myself space to sink into my heart and into my body despite what my brain was saying.

Deciding to turn back around, I saw that this monster was now simply a lonely little girl.

She looked normal to me now.

Sweet and innocent, but also sad and lost.

I saw the image of her before the anger swallowed her up; before the pain morphed her into the monster I just saw.

I do see myself in this little girl. She is everything I fear, everything I deny about myself. Everything I don’t want to look at. And everything I don’t want to feel.

She now wields a mighty sword, this creature, this sweet innocent girl, no more.

I slipped into the darkness where the shadows held space for me and I found an opening to sneak away.

As I reclaimed my focus, I said something for the soul of the being inside of the depths of the City of Angels.

I spoke to this shadow of darkness that clouded our existence in anger.

In the calmness, I remembered what to say.

I recited the words of my teacher.

I respect your power. 

I will not fight you.  

I will not deny you. 

I will acknowledge you for your strength and ability to destroy everything. 

Yes, you are powerful beyond measure.

I watched the shadows recede into the brightness of the light of recognition.

Acknowledging my respect for the power of these energies has given me freedom.  

I am liberated by the burden of containing these shadows within.

I am not responsible for keeping them locked in a cage anymore.

I release them into wholeness by respecting and loving them.

And I now declare that I am FREE.

Anger no longer has a hold on me.